We all get a little bit jealous about silly things in life. Some more than others. But there is a fine line of envy, that some cross, that makes life toxic. I know there are some modest and humble people out there, that do not want to admit to others or confide in them that someone may be jealous. I’m going to share my advice on how to spot jealousy, and how to deal with it.
They can never give you a compliment. You could be wearing some really nice clothes, or got your hair dyed and you know it looks lovely. If they cannot even comment on it or just even ignore it, even though it’s blatantly in their face, then they cannot stand to acknowledge it. This is a warning sign!!
They will never have your best interests at heart. For example, if you ask so-called jealous friend whether or not this jacket suits you, their reply will say everything. You know the jacket is bomb on you, all your friends on Snapchat have said it looks amazing on you, but because you make this particular friend feel so very insecure, they will go ‘O M G noooo hunny that looks terrible!!’
They will constantly compare themselves to you. If you’re both about to go out on a night out, and you arrive at theirs for some pre-drinks, and suddenly they now want to change their whole outfit, their hairstyle, the jewellery after seeing you. This is all to one-up you, they never want you looking better than them, and that is crazy. Which brings me to my next sign…
You’re always the competition, and they will never stop trying to one-up you. Like I said, if the two of you are going to go somewhere, this jealous friend may even go to the lengths of Snapchating you to see what you’re wearing first to ‘look better’. When in reality, the two of you probably look as equally as bomb.
They never like hearing your achievements or accomplishments. Anything that makes you look better than them that makes their blood boil, is a huge sign of jealousy. You could be all ears and give your undivided attention for your friend, and as soon as you want to speak, it’s like their deaf.
They’re never happy for you. This is a huge one. No matter how colossal the situation is for you. You could be screaming at the top of your lungs with pride and excitement and your ‘friend’ would just be like ‘Oh.. that’s great.’ So very underwhelming. They can never bring themselves to even pretend to be happy for you, and the ones who at least bother to pretend, make it so obvious they’re acting.
They will try to belittle things you’re proud of to make you feel stupid. Jeez, you could get invited to eat at a dinner with Beyoncé herself and this friend will act like it’s nothing, just to make themselves feel better. Got a B on that exam you worked really hard to study for? It’s ‘not even a big deal’ to them.
If you complain about something in your life, they will talk about it over and over again. You could be having relationship issues, or financial issues, and maybe you confide in them about this. Next thing you know, that’s all they can talk about, how their relationship is running smoothly or how they’re not struggling financially. This is to make you feel worse about your situation and to make them feel satisfied with putting you down, yet again. They’ve never really talked about these topics before, nope. But because you’ve revealed that you are having problems with this, it’s now all they can talk about. Awful!
If they have a partner, and if they are super possessive about them around you, THEY ARE SO JEALOUS. And they’re really not any kind of real friend if they can’t even trust their significant other around their so-called ‘closest friend’. They’re so threatened by you. It will even come to the stage where you feel uncomfortable around their partner because you know your ‘friend’ is literally watching you. Yikes.
Admitting it to yourself.
If you see any of these signs in any of your friendships, it’s time you admit it to yourself. This could be a lifelong friend, but is it worth the daily toxicity. If you really would like to know whether this does apply to your friendship, just keep an eye out for any of these signs.
It took me awhile to realise that I was in a toxic ‘friendship’ with a very jealous friend. In fact, all the signs I just shared above, were inspired by this person. I took the initiative to remove myself from that, because life is too short to keep people in your circle who will never have your best interests at heart and will always let jealousy get the best of them.
Keep people around you who uplift you, who benefit to your life. If you find yourself sitting down and looking at your ‘friend’ and thinking about how much you don’t want to be in this friendship anymore, then it’s time to dip! Always trust your gut instincts.